Friday, December 12, 2008

Just plain strange but funny facebook status updates

NAME...

  1. says, "This too shall pass gas."

  2. doesn't want you to die before he gets the chance to kill you himself.

  3. is hoping that he doesn't have to Bitch Slap anybody on the bus tonight.

  4. thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!

  5. dodge-duck-dip-dive & dodge.

  6. is worried about the Asian market: Origami Bank folded; Bonsai Bank's cutting back it's branches; Kamikaze Bank nose dived; 500 staff at Karate Bank got chopped.

  7. tastes purple.

  8. is boxing in the Smart Car parked in his spot. Not so smart now are you!? Mr. Smarty smart car!

  9. thinks if monkeys stopped flinging around so much poop, that more people would eat them.

  10. should be president! My name is NAME and I approve this message.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Advertising Slogans as Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

  1. tastes great... is less filling... tastes great...

  2. melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

  3. is good to the last drop.

  4. is magically delicious.

  5. contains calcium, something your body uses anyways.

  6. is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

  7. is lovn'n it!

  8. is asking... "Can you hear me now?"

  9. sometimes feels like a nut... sometimes he don't.

  10. takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

  11. keeps going and going and going...

  12. has been informed... he has bankers... ahhh!

  13. tastes awful, but he works!

  14. is kid tested, mother approved.

  15. is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

  16. likes his coffee crisp!

  17. is finger lick'n good!

  18. is grrrrrrreat!

  19. is an ancient Chinese secret

  20. wants YOU!

Monday, December 1, 2008

X-Mas based Funny Facebook Status Updates

Frosty...
  1. can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"

  2. is looking forward to the new Christmas special, "A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson"

  3. may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping.

  4. is chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head

  5. is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions.

  6. is eating her weight in figgy pudding

  7. is inviting you to tickle her Elmo.

  8. hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

  9. is still trying to figure out what "police nabbed my dad" has to do with Christmas.

  10. wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.