Tuesday, December 29, 2009

2010 New Year's Resolution Funny Facebook Status Updates

NAME...
  1. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to NOT interrupt Taylor Swift if she is making an acceptance speech at a music awards ceremony.
  2. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to hide the golf clubs before having multiple "transgressions".
  3. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to avoid having 8 kids and getting a reality TV show.
  4. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to come up with another way to get on TV instead of faking that his 6 year old son is in a runaway weather balloon.
  5. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to see Michael Jackson live in concert.  What?  He died?  How come there was no media coverage?
  6. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to be on the guest list for Obama's next state dinner.
  7. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to re-enact the movie "The Hangover" in real life.
  8. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to find hidden immunity idols in his house with no clues.
  9. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to finally collect on his fortunes from Nigeria... Suckers!
  10. 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to be more like Sarah Palin a finish evertything that I st

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Funny Tiger Woods Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

  1. would like to remind Tiger that he who drives well on the fairway... does NOT fair well in the driveway!
  2. wonders how many women, would a Tiger Woods woody if a Tiger Woods would woody women? He would woody as many women could he until Woody gets hit by a 3 woody.
  3. needs you to do him a huge favor. Can you please, uh, take my name off your facebook list?
  4. had a tough day, where, on his second ho, he drove through a water hazard and into the trees...
  5. thinks it's times like these where he asks himself... What would Tiger do?
  6. is wondering if she is the only one who hasn't had sex with Tiger.
  7. isn't sure what a "transgression" is, but dang, I want to get me some of that!
  8. can't believe Tiger's response as to why he had "transgressions"...  "They're Grrrreat!"
  9. is shocked that Nike is changing their slogan after Tiger's "transgressions" to "Just Do Me!"
  10. heard that Tiger is giving up golf, and becoming an actor... His 1st movie: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Transgressions"
  11. thinks the beauty of this viral campaign will become apparent when one of Tiger's mistresses appears in Playboy with a Nike tattoo on her butt.
  12. read that "Tiger is ready to quit golf to save his marriage" - I'm no therapist but I am pretty sure quitting other women would be even more effective.