Grinch...
- thinks that Santa Claus has the right idea to only visit people once a year.
- is going to buy my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, "toys not included.”
- thinks there's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning... and not be a child.
- wants an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
- is going to see The Nutcracker... It reminds me of boxing, except with music, choreography, and the dancers don't hit each other.
- is going to suprise his wife on X-Mas with new boxers that say "Tickle-My-Elmo".
- thinks this year, he is going to buy all his Christmas gifts from Nike... Made for kids by kids...
- wonder is Christmas trees could scream, would we be so joyful in cutting them down? I suppose we might... if they screamed all the time... and for no good reason.
- says "I got your stocking stuffer right here! Baby!"
- This just in... Santa has been shot down by Sarah Palin while flying over Alaska...
Frosty...
- can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"
- is looking forward to the new Christmas special, "A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson"
- may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping.
- is chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head
- is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions.
- is eating her weight in figgy pudding
- is inviting you to tickle her Elmo.
- hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
- is still trying to figure out what "police nabbed my dad" has to do with Christmas.
- wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
