Oscar...
- is honoured to just be nominated.
- would like to thank you, my fans. Without you none of this would have been possible.
- is nominated as best supporting actor in a documentary of a documentary.
- would like to thank Lynard Skynard for not releasing an album.
- is nominated for best performance by an actor in the role of a robot, pirate or ninja
- is nominated for best adaptation of a boring life
- is nominated for best actor not playing a retard, drunk, or insane person
- thinks Sarah Palin should win for best actor playing a retard, drunk or insane person.
- would like to thank the academy
- is nominated for best portrayal of status update.
- should win best performance in pretending to understand the ending of No Country For Old Men
NAME...
- says, "This too shall pass gas."
- doesn't want you to die before he gets the chance to kill you himself.
- is hoping that he doesn't have to Bitch Slap anybody on the bus tonight.
- thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!
- dodge-duck-dip-dive & dodge.
- is worried about the Asian market: Origami Bank folded; Bonsai Bank's cutting back it's branches; Kamikaze Bank nose dived; 500 staff at Karate Bank got chopped.
- tastes purple.
- is boxing in the Smart Car parked in his spot. Not so smart now are you!? Mr. Smarty smart car!
- thinks if monkeys stopped flinging around so much poop, that more people would eat them.
- should be president! My name is NAME and I approve this message.
NAME...
- tastes great... is less filling... tastes great...
- melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
- is good to the last drop.
- is magically delicious.
- contains calcium, something your body uses anyways.
- is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
- is lovn'n it!
- is asking... "Can you hear me now?"
- sometimes feels like a nut... sometimes he don't.
- takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
- keeps going and going and going...
- has been informed... he has bankers... ahhh!
- tastes awful, but he works!
- is kid tested, mother approved.
- is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
- likes his coffee crisp!
- is finger lick'n good!
- is grrrrrrreat!
- is an ancient Chinese secret
- wants YOU!
Frosty...
- can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"
- is looking forward to the new Christmas special, "A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson"
- may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping.
- is chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head
- is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions.
- is eating her weight in figgy pudding
- is inviting you to tickle her Elmo.
- hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
- is still trying to figure out what "police nabbed my dad" has to do with Christmas.
- wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
