JOKER...
- For April fools day, I took my nephew to "Disneyland", but instead I really drove him to a burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said. 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good April Fools day joke.
- wants to remind you that everything is funny as long as it's not happening to you.
- is pleased to introduce you to baby Jacob, born today 8lb's 7 oz. Mom and baby are doing great! Oh yeah... April Fools!
- won a free donut in Roll Up The Rim... Yeah Right! April fools
- is getting an iPad!!!! April Fools!
- is so sorry you got fired. April Fools!
- noticed a friend's Facebook status said that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him. April Fools!
- Has got tickets to go see Nickleback! April Fools!
- wants to remind everyone to poke holes in your cat before you put it in the microwave. April Fools!
- is quitting drinking today.... April Fools!
- for April Fools day is going to tell a guy he's going to shoot him, then kill him with a brick.
Al Gore...
- has said it before. Earth Hour, Earth Hour and a Half, whatever it takes.
- is making smores during Earth Hour. Did you know that smores are actually named after the arch-demon S'morax, Satan's top chef.
- In order to read without electricity during earth hour, I'm keeping this tire fire going all day.
- says no Earth Hour for me! I got my fill of pointless symbolic gestures by communicating in sign language with my toaster.
- I'm sorry earth hour. I'm gonna be watching March Madness during that time. I'll make up for it by sleeping an extra hour tonight.
- says it's Earth Hour and has shut off all his electronic devices. Oh crap, this tweet is on his BlackBerry.
- Earth Hour... Apple claims it's actually iEarth Hour and that this too is another one of their innovations...
- Earth Hour? You guys are pronouncing it wrong... It's actually pronounced... Happy Hour...
NAME...
- is huked on fonics.
- needs blood in his caffeine system
- is thinking about taking up golf to cure his sex addiction... If it worked for Tiger...
- thinks reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
- thinks he might be addicted to Facebook because he's seeing a lot of random people around the city, that he's already seen on Facebook.
- would quit smoking but it's better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs
- thinks he might be addicted to twitter and alcohol since, he created a Twitter acccount just to follow the updates of various bars for their specials
- might be addicted to eBay considering he just spent 6 hours trying to burn the face of Jesus into his toast
- thinks cocaine is a good way of telling you that you make too much money
- loves cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
NAME...
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to NOT interrupt Taylor Swift if she is making an acceptance speech at a music awards ceremony.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to hide the golf clubs before having multiple "transgressions".
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to avoid having 8 kids and getting a reality TV show.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to come up with another way to get on TV instead of faking that his 6 year old son is in a runaway weather balloon.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to see Michael Jackson live in concert. What? He died? How come there was no media coverage?
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to be on the guest list for Obama's next state dinner.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to re-enact the movie "The Hangover" in real life.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to find hidden immunity idols in his house with no clues.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to finally collect on his fortunes from Nigeria... Suckers!
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to be more like Sarah Palin a finish evertything that I st
