St. Patrick..
- is Irish today!!! Hungover tomorrow!
- invites you to spank his leprechaun
- thinks that Neil Patrick Harris is hilarious, but isn't calling him a "Saint" and giving him his own day going a little too far? Then again.. He is Legendary!
- says ”Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” “Irish.” “Irish who?” “Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!”
- is thinking that when the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland , what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!
- is gonna party with his Irish Friends: Patty O'Furniture, Rick O'Shay, and Pile O'Sh!t!
- says put your hands in my pockets and check out my shamrocks!
Ghandi...
- woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting relatives stay over.
- is going to buy a teddy bear for $5, name it Joshua and sell it for $10, to make of prophet!
- was gonna donate blood until the lady got all personal and started asking "who's blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
- just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1987
- wonders how much milk do I add to baby powder to make a baby?
- wonders why are the people who tell you to calm down always the ones who ticked you off in the first place?
- can't stand it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus
- was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- thinks that If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
- She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons
Charlie...
- predicts that although Steve Jobs already died, in 2012 he will die again and it will be faster and better this time.
- predicts Charlie Sheen will make his comeback on a new hit show called "2 and Half Grams"
- will likely spend 2012 jobless, whiny, filthy and living with his parents at 43 King Street except it will be cool because he will refer to it as Occupy King Street.
- can't wait for Breaking Dawn Part 2 in 2012 as Bella and Edward get hunted down by Blade! Perhaps that's just wishful thinking...
- in 2012, I will be running in a 0.25 mile run in support of people with attention deficit disorder (aka Kardashin Dash)
- hopes in 2012 that peace will prevail and that we can live in a world where pigs and birds can live in harmony.
- is noticing that all my New Year resolutions basically come down to "Try to be somebody else".
- in 2012, every time I learn a new fact, I will bring it up in a conversation, and laugh at anyone who doesn't know it!
- When faced with a challenge in 2012... As yourself this one question... What would Phil Dunphy do?
- predicts Rebecca Black will release the sequel to her hit "Friday" entitled "Saturday".
NAME...
- Wow, it works!!!!! Be right back, gonna try out my new time machine.....Let's see how this goes!!!!!
- You choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct? A. 25% B. 50% C. 60% D. 25%
- Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon...We launch a bird into Pigs!
- You've really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can't reach it.
- thinks it's sort of mean for the closed caption on movies to say "Music playing". Wouldn't it be nicer just to not mention that?
- Ouch!! Wait a second, why is everybody in town throwing stones at me?
- found out one of the fundamental differences between males and females is this.. While at the state fair, walking through the animal barns, the female begins ranking animals in order of cuteness, The males rank them in order of deliciousness.
- What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's circumference with it's diameter? Pumpkin Pi
- How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that
- They say the best thing to do for a woman is to make her laugh. I'd feel better if I actually spoke before she started laughing.
- loves giving an answer to an "or" question with just a yes or no: "Did you order the pizza or do I have to do it?"... "Yes"
- I feel bad when I see a bug on my car when I'm heading to work. Even if the thing manages to hang on the entire way, it's still gonna be like, "Whew, okay, I didn't die. Now...where the heck am I?"
- Do birds get mad when other birds go to the bathroom in the bird bath? "Dude what are you doing?! That is NOT okay! There's a car RIGHT THERE!"
- If a clown offers you a hamburger, and it's not Ronald McDonald, do not eat the hamburger. I learned that the hard way!
- If I have to buy you a present when you get married, then you have to buy me a present when you get divorced. It's only fair
- I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
- If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die because I wouldn't want to be me when that happens.
- with the way kids are so HYPER these days, I probably wouldn't have enough patience to be a Kindergarten Teacher...we'd have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE!
- Getting old is like a haunted house. There are sounds and smells that can't be explained.
- If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur!!
