NAME...
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to NOT interrupt Taylor Swift if she is making an acceptance speech at a music awards ceremony.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to hide the golf clubs before having multiple "transgressions".
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to avoid having 8 kids and getting a reality TV show.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to come up with another way to get on TV instead of faking that his 6 year old son is in a runaway weather balloon.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to see Michael Jackson live in concert. What? He died? How come there was no media coverage?
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to be on the guest list for Obama's next state dinner.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to re-enact the movie "The Hangover" in real life.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to find hidden immunity idols in his house with no clues.
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to finally collect on his fortunes from Nigeria... Suckers!
- 's 2010 New Year's resolution is to be more like Sarah Palin a finish evertything that I st
NAME...
- would like to remind Tiger that he who drives well on the fairway... does NOT fair well in the driveway!
- wonders how many women, would a Tiger Woods woody if a Tiger Woods would woody women? He would woody as many women could he until Woody gets hit by a 3 woody.
- needs you to do him a huge favor. Can you please, uh, take my name off your facebook list?
- had a tough day, where, on his second ho, he drove through a water hazard and into the trees...
- thinks it's times like these where he asks himself... What would Tiger do?
- is wondering if she is the only one who hasn't had sex with Tiger.
- isn't sure what a "transgression" is, but dang, I want to get me some of that!
- can't believe Tiger's response as to why he had "transgressions"... "They're Grrrreat!"
- is shocked that Nike is changing their slogan after Tiger's "transgressions" to "Just Do Me!"
- heard that Tiger is giving up golf, and becoming an actor... His 1st movie: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Transgressions"
- thinks the beauty of this viral campaign will become apparent when one of Tiger's mistresses appears in Playboy with a Nike tattoo on her butt.
- read that "Tiger is ready to quit golf to save his marriage" - I'm no therapist but I am pretty sure quitting other women would be even more effective.
NAME...
- is thankful and somewhat humbled by receiving the Nobel Peace Prize
- is thankful he never went for a sleepover at Michael Jackson’s house.
- is thankful he isn't one of the "Plus Eight" from Jon & Kate.
- is thankful he wasn't killed by OJ!
- is thankful to be adopted by Madonna
- is thankful for his government bailout!!
- is thankful that LOST is finally ending.
- is thankful to be one of David Letterman's interns!
- is thankful that Lynard Skynard did not release an album this year.
- is thankful he's not a turkey
Frankenstein...
- plans on dressing up as Kanye West for Halloween and just before the kids yell "Trick or Treat", jump out of the bushes and yell "Christmas is better".
- wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
- warns you this Halloween to beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, and band saws.
- will have on his tomb stone, "See I told you I was SICK!"
- is going to dress up as Kanye West and show up at Taylor Swift's house this Halloween.
- hopes this Halloween, he doesn't end up with a bag full of restraining orders again.
- wonders if he's getting old, or if others also ask for high fibre candy only on Halloween?
- forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of his sandwich.
- hopes nobody else dresses up as Justus von Liebig, Father of biochemistry who recorded minerals in plant ash and proposed the law of minimum.
- wonders if Lady Gaga dresses up as a normal person for Halloween???
