Saturday, May 21, 2011

Pop Philosophy Funny Facebook Status Updates

  1. really doesn't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining break-dancing and lunch?
  2. thinks that Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
  3. is reminding you that ‎42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  4. thinks everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.
  5. is reminding you that you can't force fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.
  6. is wondering if sharks are mean because they feel unloved, or do they just have a mean way of sharing their affection with others?
  7. OK little Johnny, very good, dogs go woof, now what sound does a Giraffe make?
  8. A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
  9. If at first you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie
  10. It's a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes, Now, potatoes and duct tape and you may have a chance!
  11. Do cats burp?
  12. Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
  13. Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all. Who wants to live in that kind of world?