Monday, October 25, 2010

"Is So Cool..." Funny Facebook Status Updates

The Situation...
  1. is SO COOL he can't drink soda because the can will explode!
  2. is SO COOL that he wasn't born, he was unleashed.
  3. is SO COOL that he doesn't sweat, he glistens.
  4. is SO COOL that ice cubes are afraid of him.
  5. is SO COOL that you can set your clock by his five o'clock shadow.
  6. is SO COOL that he got Helen Keller to talk.
  7. is SO COOL that Rosa Parks gave up her seat for him.
  8. is SO COOL that ancient civilizations sacrificed virgins in anticipation of his birth.
  9. is SO COOL that he can't be killed by bullets because they're afraid.
  10. is SO COOL that when he plays Deal or No Deal, the banker always offers him a million dollars.
  11. is SO COOL that he shot the Deputy after Bob Marley shot the Sheriff.
  12. is SO COOL that if he jumped the shark then Happy Days would still be on the air.

Monday, October 18, 2010

"Yes I am... That Guy" Funny Facebook Status Updates

  1. has two tickets to that thing you love.
  2. is the guy who put the hole in the ozone layer.
  3. says, you know how people say "in bed" after fortune cookies?  Well... I invented that.
  4. is the guy that Chuck Norris wishes he were...
  5. is often the life of the party even though he's not there.
  6. is that guy that if he were to punch you in the face... You'd have to fight off the strong urge to thank him.
  7. is that guy whom Sharks have a week dedicated to!
  8. vs Shaq and Shaq lost...
  9. is the guy who put the laughter in slaughter
  10. let the dogs out
  11. is the Cigar Guy