Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Sayings used as Funny Facebook Status Updates

NAME is...

  1. the new Black
  2. the devil you know
  3. the lesser of 2 evils
  4. yesterday's news
  5. thinking inside the box because too many people are thinking outside the box.
  6. a deadman walking
  7. easier said then done
  8. his own worst enemy
  9. rushing in where angels fear to tread
  10. knowing nothing and doubting nothing
  11. having his cake and eating it too

159 comments:

  1. Name: thinks there are two types of people in the world: Those who think there are two types of people in the world, and those who don't.

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  2. Name: thinks there are two types of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can't, and those who think they can.

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  3. Name: is shutting down her compu

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  4. Name has decided to live forever, or die in the attempt.

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  5. this morning i read an article in the newspaper about the dangers of drinking to much alcohol, so thats it, after tonight no more bastard reading 4 me!!!

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  6. You shouldn't take life too seriously.........you'll never get out alive anyway.

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  7. is goin to take your mom out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her agian

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  8. everybody wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die...

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  9. life is easier said then done.

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  10. (name) is lisnin' to 50, tippin' a 40, speedin' over 30, wishin' he was 20, actin' 10, and has 0 to loose!

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  11. said...Be Positive! It's infectious, I caught it a few months ago and it won't go away so be careful.

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  12. thanks for being there for me, now go away!

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  13. hahaha omg.. i love u guys all.. u guys are funny

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  14. I hated it when old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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  15. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? ~George Carlin

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  16. Not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!

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  17. .. My Heart Ain't Ya Dick...So Stop Playing With It..

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  18. You call me a bitch bitch is a dog dogs bark bark on trees trees are nature natures beautiful so thanks for the compliment

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  19. There are 2 types of people, those that understand binary code.

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  20. The more u learn the more u know the more u know the more u forget the more u forget the less u know, so why learn?

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  21. My answer will always be yes. Unless no is required.

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  22. im broke at the minute so the next time i see a 'slow, wet floor' sign im going to speed up!!!

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  23. whoever said it was better to give than to receive was clearly never the recipient!

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  24. how can I be full of myself? I'm too skinny!

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  25. Here I am! Now, what were your other two wishes?

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  26. Today, no one wished me a happy birthday. I'm not suprised, today isn't my birthday.

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  27. People who try to hard to get a good living forget to live.

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  28. Face book always ask me whats on my mind. but i wanna know whats on facebooks mind.

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  29. Bahahaha.. Dude the whats on facebooks mind was awesome.. I fell off my chair laughin.. Good 1

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  30. Hell Was..Full So m Bac..:)

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  31. god is sunny days, even when we do wrong it is still sunny.

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  32. when life gives you lemons, make orange juice and let the whole world try to figure out how you did it

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  33. ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ

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  34. Bahahahaha!! I loved the handstand one cause I know everyone is gonna crane their neck upside down to read it. :)

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  35. Name: is thhe Nattionall Spellling Beee Runnner-Uup.

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  36. Name: thinks when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it’s like they’re saying “Here, you throw this away."

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  37. name:’s favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.

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  38. You caught me! Now what?

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  39. lifes a waste of time and times a waste of life so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life :D

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  40. sex is not the answer sex is the question and yes is the answer

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  41. Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration,a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to increase the population for the next generation, did u get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

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  42. If your name was homework, i'de be doing you on my desk right now...!!!

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  43. got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.!!

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  44. LOL LOL =)
    FUNNY... I LIKE THE LESBIAN ONE...

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  45. I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have :p

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  46. will never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night again!

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  47. [name] is reflecting that the cost of living hasn't affected it's popularity

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  48. LOVE IS LIKE PISSING UR PANTS
    EVERYONE CAN SEE IT
    BUT ONLY U CAN FEEL THE WARMTH

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  49. funny funny, who is gonna laugh, it's a joke...LOL

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  50. NAME:
    just had alot of sugar and is now wondering WHY THE WORLD IS SPINNING

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  51. find your spot on earth and ride it-surfing quote

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  52. cowgirl motto-Drink till he's cute!

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  53. life is like a box of chocolates,you never know what your gunna get... so when your life turns out to be crappy that means you got the the chocolate with the prune in it...

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  54. Fact of life....After Monday and Tuesday....Even the calendar says W T F.....

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  55. Chris rock: what are you like a a 3rd degree black belt?
    Chris Farley : the blackness of my belt is like the inside of a coffin on a moonless night...
    Chris Rock: that is pretty black, man ...

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  56. about the pissing your pants one i dont know if i should say "AWWW" or if i should be ROFL...

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  57. Smoke two joints in the morning, smoke two joints at night, smoke two joints in the afternoon, makes me feel alright.

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  58. If you can't talk about it like adults, then don't talk about it.

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  59. baahahaha to most all of them

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  60. NAME: is out of her mind. Please leave a message or wait until an oporator is availiable. THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING (NAME)

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  61. studying is like student and dying put together (:

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  62. Stalkers love me; Haters hate me. why hate? no lifeee.

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  63. NAME is thinking outside the box, it's too crowded inside.

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  64. i knew my marriage was doomed right from the start because i was a pisces and she was a bitch

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  65. pahaha much , at the love is a sensation one! babee funny ! was lmao! :L

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  66. Officer: " Alright asume the position." Drunk guy: " What r u gay?"

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  67. Dont follow me because i want to follow you

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  68. ( Name ): Is dreaming of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned!

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  69. To love is to hate or is it!

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  70. Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime?

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  71. jeremy transeauMay 1, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    NECROPHILIA: the uncontolable urge to crack open a cold one!

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  72. thats the funniest, sickest thing ive ever heard...i love it....you must be brilliant!

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  73. Dr. Kurt Bock...CEO of BASFMay 5, 2010 at 6:00 PM

    i knew a jeremy transeau from houston tx. I was in mensa with him when he was 12 or so...he had an IQ of over 160....funny to think this is him...but how many jeremy transeaus can there be...if this is you email me....!!!

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  74. Some people say im scared of hieghts but im scared of withs.

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  75. here is a good thing to put as a like on facebook..... teachers call it cheating, we call it teamwork:)

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  76. thats so damn true ;)

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  77. LMAO, teamwork!! love it!! nice one m8

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  78. there are two kinds of people, those who like me and those who can go to hell.

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  79. Neha Bhardwaj: I am a bit buzy rit nw, so can I ignore u sum odr time???

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  80. i am angryy so i started yellinqq at my wall... then my wall started callinqq me names...so i went to yell at my couch

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  81. Sure, I'd love to help you out... now, which way did you come in?

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  82. if you break a pinky promise, i'll brake ur pinky, promise

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  83. if 10,000 fireflies tried giving me hugs, i'd run away.

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  84. LOL I LOVED THE PINKY ONE

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  85. life is bitch, but then u go marry one...

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  86. men are like lava lamp,, fun twoo look at buu not very brite

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  87. men are like mascara,, the first sign of emotion- they run

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  88. men are like parkingg spotz,, all tha good ones aree takenn

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  89. you have just read this sentance xx :)

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  90. lmao at the wall one! n a lot of the otha ones too! XD

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  91. forget the times you walked by, forget the times you made me cry, forget the times we held hands, forget the sweet things, if you can. i can no longer pretend, i must remember now that your just a friend. RANDOM , BUT SAD! nicole~

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  92. OMG THESE R SOOOO FUNNY!!! ok im goin to sleep now =)

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  93. If i die tonight, someone please keep updating my status just to freak people out.

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  94. I like the ones about men they are the funniest!!

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  95. Make one, give one, recieve the other (:

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  96. When life brings ya down, get up, punch it in the face, and yell “I’m Chuck Norris!!”

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  97. Is thinking my favorite cocktail is ……. The next one!

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  98. "If you cant convince them! confuse them"

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  99. OMg The World Is Ending What Should We Do... (Name) Ok quick I need a lighterr and a a bottle of Tiki fluid....And bring me my PUPPET..

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  100. I know this world is a broken bone..But take a Tylenol cure your headaches and call it home.

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  101. The things ive done for a klondike bar.

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  102. all kids r gifted some just open their packages earlier then otherz.
    or
    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

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  103. funny shit lmao,
    what about this pickup line ,
    you must be a parking ticket coz youve got fine fine fine written all over ya :b

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  104. when people talk 'bout you behind your back, they might as well just kiss your ass while they'r ther...!!

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  105. A Child of five would understand this...
    Send someone to fetch a child of five.

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  106. Men dont like to hear the words "Dont" and "Stop"..unless you put them together

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  107. Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a babrie doll.

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  108. an ex is called an ex because its an EXample of what you shouldnt do again.

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  109. Your future depends on your dreams - so go to sleep! :D

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  110. (name) thinks that playing “tag” with sprinters would be the least fun game in the world. Second only to playing on the seasaw with a sumo-wrestler.

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  111. if god didn't want me to play with it, he would of mounted it on my back :D

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  112. (Name) thinks that playing “tag” with sprinters would be the least fun game in the world. Second only to playing on the seasaw with a sumo-wrestler.

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  113. If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?

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  114. every time i start to write on the computer and open the program it says to me WORD.

    And I'm like: Yo!

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  115. (Name)I see someone ate a bowl of stupid this morning.

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  116. The computer beat me at chess :( but it was no match for me at kickboxin

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  117. Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration,a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to increase the population for the next generation, did u get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

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  118. I was never interested in twitter because im not a follower/

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  119. 1′st person to like this status will be my profile picture for 3 days. 2′nd person to like this status will be my alternative name for 5 days. 3′rd person to like this status will be related to me for a week on facebook at if ure alredy then u will b somthin diffrent 2 wat u r now. 4′th person to like this status i will message u a secret. 5′th person to like this status I will write i love you on your wall. x :)

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  120. - Nothing says "I love you" like a blowjob
    - If you're broke, beat it! I ain't lookin for a sugar-free Daddy
    - Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
    - It's not pretty being easy
    - songs with sirens in them should not be allowed on the radio as they trick me when I'm driving

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  121. I woke up this morning and stepped on a piece of cereal. I guess that makes me a ceral killer!!!

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  122. good ones, i especially liked the one "when life gives you lemons, make orange juice and let the whole world try to figure out how you did it"

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  123. wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT

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  124. if a girl post a status she`ll get hundreds of `like`..but if the status is posted by a boy..number of `like` will be below 10.... :)

    ````renz

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  125. facebook is a slow poison.....beware of that....

    renz.....

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  126. Let's play "fast food restaurants"
    I'll be Burger King and you can be McDonalds
    I'll have it my way and you will be lovin' it

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  127. All of these are great., Still laughing

    My uncle, whenever driving by a cemetary would always say "people are dying to get in there"

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  128. A fact of life : after monday and tuesday even the calender says "W T F" !!

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  129. “A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.” $$- @hsii -$$

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  130. When life hands you lemons, squeeze them in the eyes of the person who gave them to you.

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  131. like a biggggg .............

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  132. A day without sunshine is like......well you know........night!

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  133. Ladies.. the golden rule is that if it has tyres or testicles, you're gonna have trouble with it.

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  134. -- Life is Short, A Midget Told Me that

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  135. If someone likes it do u have to hate it or like it huuuh?

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  136. no one s a virgin, life screws us all

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  137. If life is like a bowl of cherries, then why am i always stuck with the pitts?

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  138. to the comment about your uncle saying "ppl r dying to get in there" when he passed by a grave yard. The old saying goes...do u know why they build cemetery walls so high? Because so many ppl are dying to get in. LOL oldie but goodie :D

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  139. confushia says.....He who goes to bed with itchy a** wakes up with smelly fingers!

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  140. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
    www.cheapestusedcomputer.com

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  141. Unless ur name is GOOGLE, stop acting like you know everything!!

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  142. haha awesome guys:)

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  143. i am rudely polite,and disgustingly clean,with my failed success,so i hate to not hate you which makes you love to not love me :D

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  144. Eat me drink me

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  145. i see you walking down my block,bitch dont trip on a rock!!:)

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  146. amazing group of quotes, I've bookmarked this im going to be coming back!

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  147. lol its very funny, Just add the following oo in this great fun list
    If you can’t afford taking your kids to the Zoo, just take them to Wal-Mart… its essentially the same experience.

    If you order bubble wrap online, what is it surrounded in when it arrives?

    Knock knock, whos there?, Daisy, Daisy who? Dae-see me rollin, they hating patrolling

    Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?
    Which came first ? Internet porn or delete browser history?

    Knock knock, whos there?, Daisy, Daisy who? Dae-see me rollin, they hating patrolling

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  148. its just awsome stuff dude ... !!!

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  149. Love a ton,of them

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