Simpsons inspired Funny Facebook Status updates

NAME is...

1. having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
2. assuring you that it's not easy juggling a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of Facebook a day.
3. going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
4. known for his motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
5. sure that if there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers.
6. , unlike most of you, not a nut!
7. in awe! Reading and writing actually paid off!
8. wondering, what's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway!
9. going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
10. wondering when will he ever learn... The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on Facebook!