Aristotle...
- feels ashamed of his smoking but it's better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
- notices that when the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.
- thinks that a day without sunshine is like night.
- thinks that if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.
- is getting that Deja Fu feeling... That that somehow, somewhere, he's been kicked in the head like this before.
- knows that some people say that he must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.
- is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
- is reflecting that the cost of living hasn't affected it's popularity.
- wonders if you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- thinks it's odd that people justify deer heads on their walls by saying they're beautiful animals. Hmmm.... I think my wife is beautiful.
hahahaha! My favorite = #5
ReplyDeleteThe second to last should be accredited to George Carlin.
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