Assorted Funny Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

1. was denied adoption of a baby boy from Malawi.


2. will never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night again!


3. is reading his friends' statuses and adding 'in bed' to the end of each one.


4. is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.


5. will never put salt in my eye. never Put Salt in my eye. Put Salt in my eye. Always put salt in my eye.


6. didn't mean to accept your friend request. This is the last status you will read.


7. is only a test. If this were the real NAME, and not a test, you would have been informed.


8. never makes stupid mistakes ..... only very clever ones .....


9. gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.


10. would like you to give him back that filet o' fish! Give me that fish!