Various Funny Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

1. is going to help fight continental drift.
2. is stamping out, eliminating and abolishing redundancy!
3. fought the lawn and the lawn won.
4. knows it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
5. lives in his own little world, but it's OK — they know me here.
6. suffers occasional delusions of adequacy.
7. trys to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
8. is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
9. is not an actor, but I play one on TV.
10. has had fun before. This isn't it.
11. is wondering if less means more, then think how much more, would more be?
12. can't stand, it's intolerance.
13. says if things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Even More Funny Random Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

1. is dyslexic which means never having to say that you're yrros.
2. says dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
3. stopped to think and forget to start again?
4. thinks everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
5. thinks that friends help you move but real friends help you move bodies.
6. is geting behind early so he can have plenty of time to catch up
7. says "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
8. Got milked?
9. thinks that happiness is a failure to understand how bad things really are.
10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.