- is going to help fight continental drift.
- is stamping out, eliminating and abolishing redundancy!
- fought the lawn and the lawn won.
- knows it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
- lives in his own little world, but it's OK — they know me here.
- suffers occasional delusions of adequacy.
- trys to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
- is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
- is not an actor, but I play one on TV.
- has had fun before. This isn't it.
- is wondering if less means more, then think how much more, would more be?
- can't stand, it's intolerance.
- says if things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Various Funny Facebook Status Updates
NAME...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
is trapped in the status message with some somali pirates!! Bring some Rum!!! Rrrrrrrrrr
ReplyDeletebizko :P
1 to try:
ReplyDeleteI heard that goldfish grow to the size of their enviroment (bowl) since hearing this I have stopped wearing underwear.
That goldfish comment is really stupid. Don't quit your day job.
ReplyDeletei just liked my own status to see if i would get a notification. i didnt get one
ReplyDeletehaha i luv that goldfish one =D therefore i must be strange...0_o
ReplyDeleteI want to install rear spoilers on my car, but I can't find any bumper stickers that say "Rosebud's His Sled" and "Bruce Willis Is Dead."
ReplyDeletename.. is talking in 3rd person
ReplyDelete..that's what she said.
ReplyDeleteyes its true, i am a ninja(:
ReplyDeleteI used the 3rd person one but found it better to read:
ReplyDelete(name) never refers to himself in the 3rd person
;)
hmmmm
ReplyDeleteGreat collection..
ReplyDeleteVery funny and hilarious..
Thanks for posting..
Work from home
MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS...
ReplyDeleteKINDA FUNNY.. :)
The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totaly make up its source.- George Washington
ReplyDelete... doesnt think it's all that hard out here for a pimp if you know what you're doing.
ReplyDelete...Doesn't make jokes about the Spanish...no way José!!
ReplyDeleteYou can also take a peek at funnystatusmessages.co.uk for a few more of these.
ReplyDelete"it takes a true genius to trip on your way into a car!! <--that would be me :) <3 "
ReplyDeleteis sat at his desk tapping his fingers listening to the beatles and having a blow job of an alsatian
ReplyDeleteIs Loading. ████████████ ███ ██ █ 99%.... [Error 105: Server Failed. Is Busy Doing Something Else Instead Of Facebooking.] More Info : Look Here >> Try Finding Me Tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteis dumping skittles in the toilet and flushing...its like a 10 second NASCAR race
ReplyDeleteGeorge Washington was here.
ReplyDeleteI like this status.
ReplyDeletedoesnt understand who on spongebob a crab has a squeirrel for a daughter
ReplyDeletemy favorite book is a facebook.
ReplyDeleteoften confuses facebook and Myspace and constanly tells people to come visit my face...
ReplyDeleteI may not be Mr Right, But I will F@#K you till he shows up
Tim
i thought this one had a cheap laugh to it
ReplyDelete"says to hell with H1N1, im gunna go old school this year and come down with a good ole' wholesome case of SARS"
tim ya muppet u worte it worng, its i keep getting facebook n myspace mixed up and keep telling people to cum on myface!
ReplyDelete.........i get down like syndrome
........is masterbating to your profile pic
.......ʇı ʎuǝp oʇ ʎɹʇ ʇ,uop .ʍou ʇɥbıɹ ʎɐʍɐ puıɯ ɹnoʎ buıʍo1q
how the hell does paper beat rock? Protect your self with a peice of paper while I throw a rock at you and we'll see who wins then.
ReplyDeleteim giving my pillow some much needed head tonight
ReplyDeletea confusing analogy is like driving a jeep over a box of doughnuts... it just doesnt make sense
ReplyDeleteis such a thrillseeker when i see a 'caution wet floor' sign i walk faster
ReplyDeleteif u love porn throw your hands in the air... or at least the one free hand.
ReplyDeleteI love ths 1, it got me tons of comments and likes
ReplyDeletewent to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played...
...is teaching the cay how to be a ninja...:)
ReplyDeletedont think m jealous of u.....
ReplyDelete