Monday, May 11, 2009

Various Funny Facebook Status Updates

NAME...
  1. is going to help fight continental drift.
  2. is stamping out, eliminating and abolishing redundancy!
  3. fought the lawn and the lawn won.
  4. knows it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
  5. lives in his own little world, but it's OK — they know me here.
  6. suffers occasional delusions of adequacy.
  7. trys to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
  8. is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
  9. is not an actor, but I play one on TV.
  10. has had fun before. This isn't it.
  11. is wondering if less means more, then think how much more, would more be?
  12. can't stand, it's intolerance.
  13. says if things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

36 comments:

  1. is trapped in the status message with some somali pirates!! Bring some Rum!!! Rrrrrrrrrr


    bizko :P

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  2. 1 to try:
    I heard that goldfish grow to the size of their enviroment (bowl) since hearing this I have stopped wearing underwear.

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  3. That goldfish comment is really stupid. Don't quit your day job.

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  4. i just liked my own status to see if i would get a notification. i didnt get one

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  5. haha i luv that goldfish one =D therefore i must be strange...0_o

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  6. I want to install rear spoilers on my car, but I can't find any bumper stickers that say "Rosebud's His Sled" and "Bruce Willis Is Dead."

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  7. name.. is talking in 3rd person

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  8. ..that's what she said.

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  9. yes its true, i am a ninja(:

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  10. I used the 3rd person one but found it better to read:

    (name) never refers to himself in the 3rd person

    ;)

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  11. Great collection..
    Very funny and hilarious..
    Thanks for posting..
    Work from home

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  12. MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS...

    KINDA FUNNY.. :)

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  13. The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totaly make up its source.- George Washington

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  14. ... doesnt think it's all that hard out here for a pimp if you know what you're doing.

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  15. ...Doesn't make jokes about the Spanish...no way José!!

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  16. You can also take a peek at funnystatusmessages.co.uk for a few more of these.

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  17. "it takes a true genius to trip on your way into a car!! <--that would be me :) <3 "

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  18. is sat at his desk tapping his fingers listening to the beatles and having a blow job of an alsatian

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  19. Is Loading. ████████████ ███ ██ █ 99%.... [Error 105: Server Failed. Is Busy Doing Something Else Instead Of Facebooking.] More Info : Look Here >> Try Finding Me Tomorrow.

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  20. is dumping skittles in the toilet and flushing...its like a 10 second NASCAR race

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  21. George Washington was here.

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  22. I like this status.

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  23. doesnt understand who on spongebob a crab has a squeirrel for a daughter

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  24. my favorite book is a facebook.

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  25. often confuses facebook and Myspace and constanly tells people to come visit my face...

    I may not be Mr Right, But I will F@#K you till he shows up

    Tim

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  26. i thought this one had a cheap laugh to it

    "says to hell with H1N1, im gunna go old school this year and come down with a good ole' wholesome case of SARS"

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  27. tim ya muppet u worte it worng, its i keep getting facebook n myspace mixed up and keep telling people to cum on myface!

    .........i get down like syndrome
    ........is masterbating to your profile pic
    .......ʇı ʎuǝp oʇ ʎɹʇ ʇ,uop .ʍou ʇɥbıɹ ʎɐʍɐ puıɯ ɹnoʎ buıʍo1q

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  28. how the hell does paper beat rock? Protect your self with a peice of paper while I throw a rock at you and we'll see who wins then.

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  29. im giving my pillow some much needed head tonight

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  30. a confusing analogy is like driving a jeep over a box of doughnuts... it just doesnt make sense

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  31. is such a thrillseeker when i see a 'caution wet floor' sign i walk faster

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  32. if u love porn throw your hands in the air... or at least the one free hand.

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  33. I love ths 1, it got me tons of comments and likes

    went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played...

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  34. ...is teaching the cay how to be a ninja...:)

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  35. dont think m jealous of u.....

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