- is SO COOL he can't drink soda because the can will explode!
- is SO COOL that he wasn't born, he was unleashed.
- is SO COOL that he doesn't sweat, he glistens.
- is SO COOL that ice cubes are afraid of him.
- is SO COOL that you can set your clock by his five o'clock shadow.
- is SO COOL that he got Helen Keller to talk.
- is SO COOL that Rosa Parks gave up her seat for him.
- is SO COOL that ancient civilizations sacrificed virgins in anticipation of his birth.
- is SO COOL that he can't be killed by bullets because they're afraid.
- is SO COOL that when he plays Deal or No Deal, the banker always offers him a million dollars.
- is SO COOL that he shot the Deputy after Bob Marley shot the Sheriff.
- is SO COOL that if he jumped the shark then Happy Days would still be on the air.
