Funny Christmas Facebook Status Updates

Grinch...

1. thinks that Santa Claus has the right idea to only visit people once a year.
2. is going to buy my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, "toys not included.”
3. thinks there's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning... and not be a child.
4. wants an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
5. is going to see The Nutcracker... It reminds me of boxing, except with music, choreography, and the dancers don't hit each other.
6. is going to suprise his wife on X-Mas with new boxers that say "Tickle-My-Elmo".
7. thinks this year, he is going to buy all his Christmas gifts from Nike...  Made for kids by kids...
8. wonder is Christmas trees could scream, would we be so joyful in cutting them down?   I suppose we might... if they screamed all the time... and for no good reason.
9. says "I got your stocking stuffer right here! Baby!"
10. This just in...  Santa has been shot down by Sarah Palin while flying over Alaska...