Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Funny One Liner Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

  1. will be here all week. Thank-you. Thank-You Very much!
  2. knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.
  3. wonders... What is the speed of dark?
  4. has too much blood in his caffeine system.
  5. has calculated that half of his Facebook friends are below average.
  6. is being spontaneous... tomorrow.
  7. is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.
  8. wants to remind you that it's even worse then you think.
  9. didn't say it was your fault... I'm just blaming you...
  10. is going around telling people that you're really 46
Labels:

16 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 19, 2008 at 10:19 AM

    they'r funny!

    keep it up :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 28, 2008 at 4:50 PM

    how bout this one (credits to steven wright):

    NAME_HERE has HDADD (high definition attention deficit disorder).. it's hard to pay attention, but when it happens, it's unbelieveable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mike MyersNovember 12, 2008 at 11:42 AM

    NAME: can't trust his farts today!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mindless DeplorableDecember 22, 2008 at 2:10 AM

    NAME is wondering if his fire sale on smoke detectors was sound marketing; but it's hard to think right now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mindless DeplorableDecember 22, 2008 at 2:19 AM

    Or you might consider the visually appealing version...

    NAME is is wondering if his his fire sale on on smoke detectors was was sound marketing; but but it's hard to to think right now now.

    ...I like this better.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2009 at 5:40 AM

    Shut up i dont like any of them Keith. Nice try captin d-bag. The others were great!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMarch 28, 2009 at 8:05 AM

    Shut up with the bloody smoke detectors thing- it's crap however ya say it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJune 8, 2009 at 4:49 AM

    Doing a good job in this place is like pissing in a wetsuit gives you a nice warm feeling but nobody notices it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousOctober 8, 2010 at 2:21 AM

    Name is dead

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownDecember 21, 2010 at 10:25 PM

    Name is only human

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ace KilluminatiApril 14, 2011 at 1:54 AM

    nice.... lines!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousApril 16, 2011 at 3:01 AM

    I love my fu@*%ng job, and my job loves fu@*%ng me...

    ReplyDelete
  13. funny one liners unlimitedOctober 3, 2011 at 5:56 AM

    nice post
    here some more .
    A Day Without Music Is Like A Year Without Rain

    What is the difference between men and pigs?
    Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

    The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    ReplyDelete
  14. funny one liners unlimitedOctober 4, 2011 at 3:22 AM

    lol
    i will use those on my facebook profile

    ReplyDelete
  15. funny one linersOctober 16, 2011 at 3:29 AM

    i like this one
    knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJune 8, 2012 at 11:21 PM

    I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this?

    ReplyDelete

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