Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Funny One Liner Facebook Status Updates


  1. will be here all week. Thank-you. Thank-You Very much!
  2. knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.
  3. wonders... What is the speed of dark?
  4. has too much blood in his caffeine system.
  5. has calculated that half of his Facebook friends are below average.
  6. is being spontaneous... tomorrow.
  7. is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.
  8. wants to remind you that it's even worse then you think.
  9. didn't say it was your fault... I'm just blaming you...
  10. is going around telling people that you're really 46


  1. they'r funny!

    keep it up :P

  2. how bout this one (credits to steven wright):

    NAME_HERE has HDADD (high definition attention deficit disorder).. it's hard to pay attention, but when it happens, it's unbelieveable.

  3. NAME: can't trust his farts today!

  4. NAME is wondering if his fire sale on smoke detectors was sound marketing; but it's hard to think right now.

  5. Or you might consider the visually appealing version...

    NAME is is wondering if his his fire sale on on smoke detectors was was sound marketing; but but it's hard to to think right now now.

    ...I like this better.

  6. Shut up i dont like any of them Keith. Nice try captin d-bag. The others were great!

  7. Shut up with the bloody smoke detectors thing- it's crap however ya say it!!!

  8. Doing a good job in this place is like pissing in a wetsuit gives you a nice warm feeling but nobody notices it.

  9. I love my fu@*%ng job, and my job loves fu@*%ng me...

  10. nice post
    here some more .
    A Day Without Music Is Like A Year Without Rain

    What is the difference between men and pigs?
    Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

    The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

  11. lol
    i will use those on my facebook profile

  12. i like this one
    knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.

  13. I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this?