Work inspired Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

1. understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
2. thought he wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay-cheque
3. is just working here until a good fast food job opens up....
4. sees Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done
5. pretends to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. thinks ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
7. thinks work is for people who don't know how to fish!
8. just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
9. is thinking that this isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
10. 's co-workers think he's a hard worker because they hear all this typing on Facebook!

Funny T-Shirt Inspired Facebook Status Updates

NAME...

1. childproofed his house, but they still get in.
2. is still hot. It just comes in flashes.
3. thinks at her age, "getting lucky" means finding her car in the parking lot.
4. 's reality cheque just bounced.
5. is not 50. I'm $49.95 plus tax.
6. says Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car.
7. is not a snob. I'm just better than you are.
8. says keep staring....I may do a trick.
9. is DANGEROUSLY under-medicated.
10. washes her mouth out with chocolate every time she hears the word "exercise".