Funny Facebook Status Updates About Being Freezing Cold

Jack...

1. just farted and it froze.  Damn it's coooold!
2. 's shadow froze to the ground today.  Damn it's cooooold!
3. knows it's cold when Paris Hilton has to put on underwear. 
4. thinks it's dangerous to use metal utensils when it's this cold.
5. knows it's cold when chickens are running to KFC to use the deep fryer.
6. knows it's cold when he sees the squirrels throwing themselves against the electric fence.
7. chipped his tooth on his soup... Damn it's cooooold!
8. had to punch a hole in the air to get outside.
9. went to work with a toaster in his pants it was so cooooold.
10. has one word for how cold it is... "peecicle".