Funny Facebook Warning Status Updates

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1. ALERT!! Facebook tried to keep this quiet! As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you're in the shower and smack your ass! To change this option, go to Privacy  / Personal  / Smack Your Ass and uncheck the "You Betcha" box.
2. just got kicked out of the Zoo! How was I supposed to know that "real" hippos don't actually eat marbles?
3. is thinking that with all the technology out there, that someone must have figured out how to create a mirror that actually shows where objects are?
4. says if wasn't for me, it would just be aweso
5. thinks it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
6. has got the moves like Jagger
7. to find your cool robot name, take the first 16 digits of your credit card and combine with the start/expiry dates and security code. What’s yours?
8. Hey my vegetarian friends, just a reminder that my food poops on your food... Enjoy that salad!
9. Some interesting stats... 3,190,374 people are having sex right now, 2,212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. Sucks to be you!
10. Warning: Facebook may contain traces of Nuts!