Yup! More Funny Facebook Status Updates

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1. Wow, it works!!!!!  Be right back, gonna try out my new time machine.....Let's see how this goes!!!!!
2. You choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct? A. 25% B. 50% C. 60% D. 25%
3. Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon...We launch a bird into Pigs!
4. You've really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can't reach it.
5. thinks it's sort of mean for the closed caption on movies to say "Music playing". Wouldn't it be nicer just to not mention that?
6. Ouch!! Wait a second, why is everybody in town throwing stones at me?
7. found out one of the fundamental differences between males and females is this.. While at the state fair, walking through the animal barns, the female begins ranking animals in order of cuteness, The males rank them in order of deliciousness.
8. What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's  circumference with it's diameter? Pumpkin Pi
9. How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that
10. They say the best thing to do for a woman is to make her laugh. I'd feel better if I actually spoke before she started laughing.
11. loves giving an answer to an "or" question with just a yes or no: "Did you order the pizza or do I have to do it?"... "Yes"
12. I feel bad when I see a bug on my car when I'm heading to work. Even if the thing manages to hang on the entire way, it's still gonna be like, "Whew, okay, I didn't die. Now...where the heck am I?"
13. Do birds get mad when other birds go to the bathroom in the bird bath? "Dude what are you doing?! That is NOT okay!  There's a car RIGHT THERE!"
14. If a clown offers you a hamburger, and it's not Ronald McDonald, do not eat the hamburger. I learned that the hard way!
15. If I have to buy you a present when you get married, then you have to buy me a present when you get divorced. It's only fair
16. I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
17. If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die because I wouldn't want to be me when that happens.
18. with the way kids are so HYPER these days, I probably wouldn't have enough patience to be a Kindergarten Teacher...we'd have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE!
19. Getting old is like a haunted house. There are sounds and smells that can't be explained.
20. If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur!!