Funny "2012 New Year Resolutions & Predictions" Facebook Status Updates

Charlie...

1. predicts that although Steve Jobs already died, in 2012 he will die again and it will be faster and better this time.
2. predicts Charlie Sheen will make his comeback on a new hit show called "2 and Half Grams" 
3. will likely spend 2012 jobless, whiny, filthy and living with his parents at 43 King Street except it will be cool because he will refer to it as Occupy King Street. 
4. can't wait for Breaking Dawn Part 2 in 2012 as Bella and Edward get hunted down by Blade!  Perhaps that's just wishful thinking...
5. in 2012, I will be running in a 0.25 mile run in support of people with attention deficit disorder (aka Kardashin Dash)
6. hopes in 2012 that peace will prevail and that we can live in a world where pigs and birds can live in harmony. 
7. is noticing that all my New Year resolutions basically come down to "Try to be somebody else".
8. in 2012, every time I learn a new fact, I will bring it up in a conversation, and laugh at anyone who doesn't know it!
9. When faced with a challenge in 2012... As yourself this one question... What would Phil Dunphy do?
10. predicts Rebecca Black will release the sequel to her hit "Friday" entitled "Saturday".