The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates: August 2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007

NAME is...

with your girlfriend.
filmed before a live stuido audience
trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
not the droid you're looking for.
not your friend.
finding your lack of faith disturbing
sensing something; a presence he hasn't felt since...
better than you.
not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you
gonna kick your rear end from here to Tienanmen Square.
made of meat. Your whole family is made of meat
a lumberjack and he's okay. He drinks all night and works all day
the second coming

Nigel is...

certain that in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.

wondering how far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question.

thinking that as long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, he can do without the rock and roll.

raising a practical question at this point? Are we gonna do "Stonehenge" tomorrow?

saying love your brother. He's not literally saying it. He's not literally meaning it. But he's not a racist. That message should be clear anyways.

disappointed with the opening band. The crowd was still booing them when he went on stage.

sad his friend died in a bizarre gardening accident. Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

George W is...

sure that they misunderestimated me!
adamant that if we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure!
on a mission because for every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings and, folks, this is unacceptable in America!
positive that the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
believing in what I believe — I believe what I believe is right.
not wanting to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one.
just wanting you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.
letting you know, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again!
aware that our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
agonizing that too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.
reminding you, teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test

NAME is...

having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
assuring you that it's not easy juggling a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of Facebook a day.
going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
known for his motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
sure that if there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers.
, unlike most of you, not a nut!
in awe! Reading and writing actually paid off!
wondering, what's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway!
going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
wondering when will he ever learn... The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on Facebook!

NAME IS...

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